I crave human connection insatiably

I lay on my back in the dark, listening to music that makes me reflect on my current state of being. Lyrics that cascade through my head like swirling thoughts that won’t leave me alone. Words that latch onto my brain like spiders in disarray – that make me yearn for a peace only fulfilling my desires can provide.

I’ve always known myself to be an ambivert. I love to socialize and step outside of my comfort zone when the situation calls for it. [When I’m charged up and mentally prepared.] But I get overstimulated sometimes. My battery tends to drain faster than the more extroverted bunch. I may isolate from time to time and take that time to create in solitude, so that I can break out of my shell again later. Lately, though, that solitude has started to feel deafening, and the urge to break out has only become stronger.

Laying in bed in the dark, I find myself realizing that I crave physical human connection insatiably.

To meet people in person. To bond over inappropriate laughter and aligning passions. Be surrounded by people that look like me & keep a connection that burns hotter & hotter inside of me, but never extinguishes. When the only [community] you’ve been able to access were a front for an unstable corporate structure, or entirely online, a hunger for face-to-face interactions would rise in you, too.

But what do you do when you’re yearning at 2am and no one else is awake to provide?

You lay there. and you ache.

For the atmosphere. For kindred spirits. The network. Parties. Performances. The safety that’s been missing from most human connections for so long.

So in turn, I’m outside and I’m open. I’m traveling for my passions. Going to creative meetups & workshops. Reconnections are happening & plans are making it out of the chat. I’m dancing and skating my worries away. Music is backing my journey like theme music. I’m doing everything I can to float like a butterfly this year.

I did say I wanted my whimsy back, and this is going to help me do just that.