It HAS to come out!
Photo: Janay Peters
At 31 years old, I've never been more creative than I am right now. Despite knowing that it has always been a part of me, I’ve only just now started to recognize and lean into my creativity. The biggest shift has been from creating from an external need to creating from my internal world. For example, being asked to complete a school project with a rubric, with one of the categories being “Be Creative,” still had structure and limits. Now, there really is no limit, and the why simply becomes “because I want to.”
It’s scary to have all the freedom, and at first, it was simply for fun and the exploration of what I could do. It’s still fundamentally for fun. It puts me in a good mood (as long as I’m not placing made-up rules on what is created or how it should be done). Being joyful in the creation process is the foundation.
Over time, the reason for creating became deeper than that.
Creativity became the process of self-discovery, and everything I created held a piece of my true identity. Most of my life has been structured and “by the book”. Good grades and good behavior were praised, and I tied my identity to academic accomplishments. They never tell you about the mini identity crises you may experience after graduating. I identified with being book-smart and a good learner, but when there was nothing else to learn, I had to find out who I was beyond that. Creating has allowed me to discover my passions, my natural talents, and even my hidden flaws. This is an ongoing process that I've come to realize will never have an endpoint. The unlimited unraveling and personal growth is a gift that many people don’t take advantage of, and while sometimes it's a challenge, it’s of my own intentional doing.
Do I ever get tired of creating? Depends on how one defines it. We are natural creators, whether we are aware of our creations or not. But in reality, no matter how fulfilling it is to create, life is about balance, and it would be a lie to say that I am always in the mood to turn mere ideas into something everyone else can interact with. I will say, however, that I keep returning to a creative lifestyle. Sometimes it's expressed through small acts that are only for me to witness, and sometimes there's a bigger vision where the impact on others is of the highest priority. Regardless, I keep showing up because “it” has to come out. These days, I realize I have no choice, almost like I am subconsciously or unconsciously wired to share my ideas.
I also believe that people are waiting for the things we create, so beyond my own personal reasons, there are other people who will grow from my creations. I think that is a part of everyone’s purpose, despite how they may feel about it. I feel honored to have been given my own unique set of gifts, talents, and experiences, and use them for the betterment of myself and others.
I don’t know who I would be today if I had never allowed myself to explore every nook and cranny of the ideas that come to mind, but I know that I can’t turn back now, and I actually can’t wait to see all the things that are ready to be expressed through me in the future.