The Love I'm Holding Out For
Image: Clarke Sanders
Tall, deep brown hue like freshly fertilized soil, brimming with life. Beautiful brown eyes, kind and intelligent, and occasionally flashing with silliness. A nose holding evidence of equatorial ancestors who needed more room to pull the oxygen from the humid air.
Lips full of kind words, gentle reminders, restoring support, and the occasional reminder of why he's always one moment alone from convincing me to let him please me. Not to mention lips full of soft flesh to kiss away my problems and suckle away my fears. Broad shoulders to rest my head on in relief and safety. A voice deep, but soft to send tremors to my enemies and a calming, heating thrum of my eardrums for me. A mind reaching for the highest, and me, and seeking to understand enough of the world to find ways to be good in it.
I need arms strong for construction, not destruction. I need him to know his strength is for building, not for breaking, and that his truest enemies are those seeking to destroy what matters to him, and that should include me. Which will mean he is his own worst enemy when he does me harm. He'll be absolutely invigorated by my power. He'll revel in my glow and fan my flames. He'll want to make me a part of his legacy and ensure that people know that even when neither of us exists in this plane, we are in yet another, in even greater love than before.
I want him to honor me as a part of himself, as an extension of himself, as he extends himself to me as a source of good in this realm of life. I want him to choose me as the greatest partner in this realm to ensure our elevation into the next together. And I want to pour out all of the precious love that I have kept protected just for my best. And we can be eternal. Might be the next guy I choose to love. Maybe the guy after next. But even if by the time it is time to transition into the next phase of life, I find myself venturing into that plane alone, I will carry my love with me still. But I'd love a big, strong, soft, deep brown hand to walk through forever with.
(And for whoever you dream of as your love, keep building towards them, baby. Let's love ourselves and show them how it's done. For now, I send a love to you that you can dab on your heart. May it heal a crack and crack a smile.)